Why you should do something that scares you as often as possible
Why do I want to something that scares me? That doesn’t sound like a good idea! The answer is simple. We fear what we don’t understand. Once we experience something we are afraid of, we start to grow. We are no longer afraid. We train our brains to embrace the unknown, we understand it because we experienced it. We have a context for what the experience is, we work through it. We become wise and a little less afraid.
Face your fears, you will survive
I had an experience with a traumatic brain injury in 2005. One moment I was standing at the top of my basement stairs getting ready to take my kids to a football game and then go to dinner with friends. The next moment I was on a hospital gurney in the critical care unit being wheeled into an MRI. Several hours had passed between the times I remember. My brain protected me from the trauma of a very serious accident that could have killed me. I am not afraid of heights; however my brain remembers this experience and triggers a fear response when I am faced with heights.
In 2010, as part of a leadership development class, I was on a 50 foot tower preparing to rappel to the bottom. Now, I was becoming unconsciously anxious as I neared the edge. I had seen several people successfully reach the bottom with the help of the policeman who are trained and were helping with the exercise. I talked with the man at the top and questioned if the ropes or harness would hold me, whether he had the strength to help me in my descent down. I didn’t want to do it, but felt that I had to (peer pressure is REAL!) plus I had made a commitment to experience the class and complete the coursework, including this exercise. In the end I overcame that first step. It turns out I was pretty good at it too. I had overcome some fear and lived!
A couple weeks ago I had another experience that stretched my fear. I hiked to the ‘Y’ in the mountainside in Provo, Utah. The picture attached to this blog is me sitting on that Y. I live in Iowa, which is not a mountain state! The elevation and actual exercise were a challenge for me to complete. I started on the journey and was feeling good until we had some height and the path had no rail. I was nervous and thought, no one is making me do this, and it’s just a personal goal! I could stop. I was with my sister so I felt compelled to keep going with her (peer pressure again?!). We powered through it resting along the way to let our heart rates adjust. Once we reached the top the Y turned out to be poured concrete with lights. There were spaces where you could sit, with indentations that acted like a bench. My sister scampered to the side and perched herself with a beautiful view. I put my foot up to find my own perch and my mind said, ‘oh no you don’t, you’re not doing this again!’ My feet started to sweat and my heart rate elevated. I paused and said to myself; “Nope I am not going to! I am fine right here.” Then I looked at my sister and thought, oh no, you aren’t the only one who will have this story to share! I found some safe footing and found myself a perch very close to the edge of the trail. I snapped some pictures of both of us (some family members wanted the physical evidence we actually did it!). I spent a moment relishing in the accomplishment of sitting on the edge of a mountain 6,221 feet in the air. Then I scampered down and reflected on how amazing our minds are as my arms and legs shook with the fear I faced.
Facing fear builds confidence
I am a firm believer that confidence comes from taking risks. I take risks in my career when I am willing to work in a different industry, with different people in different companies. I have learned that the grass is never greener, it’s just different grass. Sometimes that grass is really just weeds with burrs so it’s scary to try and step through that organization. However, even if it scares me, I push through it and learn. We can continue to be afraid if we never push ourselves to try new things. It’s scary to be out of our comfort zone.
It can be scary to meet new people or to engage in conversations with people you have never met. I am a friendly person and naturally make conversation. I may have met you in an elevator and exchanged contact information before we reach our floors! However; I am actually not always comfortable meeting people. Sometimes I need to push myself to meet people. I may be tired or I am never unhappy with the results of the new connection but it is not always comfortable. I am confident that I can meet people and live through any uncomfortable situation I find myself in.
How you will grow
In the world of business analysis there are many opportunities to do things that scare you and overcome your fear. Be willing to do things that are not comfortable and make you afraid. Try new techniques, accept leadership positions, volunteer, take a class to learn something, make a new connection, go to a conference and meet people. In time, you will no longer fear those things and you can find a mountain to climb and look down at what you accomplished and remember when taking the first step was scary and now you can climb to the top. You will amaze yourself with what you can accomplish once you are willing to face your fears and take the first step!
